Empowering Self-Worth, Self-Esteem and Confidence
Many of us have faced moments or even longer periods of low self-esteem, a lack of confidence, or feelings of low self-worth. These experiences can be overwhelming, disempowering and leave us stuck in self-doubt and uncertainty, often affecting our mood and overall well-being. But the good news is, we have the power to recognise these patterns and take action to transform them. Self-worth, self-esteem, and confidence are deeply connected yet distinct concepts of our inner world. Together, they play vital roles in shaping how we perceive ourselves, relate to others, and navigate our lives. Understanding the differences and learning how to strengthen them can be transformative, leading to a more empowered, fulfilled, and resilient life. Let’s break them down in more detail to understand how they each contribute to a strong, empowered sense of self.
Self-Worth: Understanding of Our Inherent Value
Self-worth is our bedrock. It is the unwavering belief that we are valuable, deserving and worthy simply because we exist. It recognises our intrinsic value regardless of our successes, achievements, possessions, appearance or how others perceive us. Our self-worth doesn’t come from what we do or what we have; it lies at the core of who we are. It comes from within. High self-worth means accepting ourselves as we are, flaws and all, without the need for external validation; meaning we are less dependant on approval from others to validate our worth. It leads to more authentic living, where our choices reflect who we truly are.
At its core, self-worth is rooted in love and self-compassion. The belief that we deserve kindness, patience and respect like anyone else. When our self-worth is strong, we set healthy boundaries, protect our needs and build balanced relationships. This mindset builds confidence in our abilities, belief in our decision-making and strengthens our resilience, helping reduce anxiety and low mood. On the other hand, low self-worth often leads to comparison, feelings of inadequacy and dependence on external validation. This can trigger anxiety, depression and negative self-talk and make it hard to set boundaries and accept compliments. When self-worth is low it negatively affects our motivation, leads to fear of rejection, self-sabotage, and poor self-care, all of which put a strain on our relationships and impact our decision-making. A strong sense of self-worth lays the foundation for self-esteem and confidence to grow. It shapes how we show up in life and empowers us to thrive, not just survive.
Self-Esteem: The Attitude Toward Ourselves
While self-worth is the fundamental belief that we are inherently valuable just as we are, self-esteem is our personal evaluation of that value. It reflects how much we respect, like and approve of ourselves, including our abilities, appearance and character, and it can shift depending on our experiences and self-perception. Healthy self-esteem acts as our internal cheerleader, helping to counter the influence of our inner critic. When self-esteem is strong, we become more emotionally resilient, able to recover from setbacks and more open to growth, because we trust in our ability to handle challenges.
However, low self-esteem tends to amplify negative self talk, making it easy for our inner critic to take over. It can drain our confidence, trigger feelings of inadequacy and a fear of failure, meaning we are less likely to put ourselves out there and try something new. When our self-esteem is low we often struggle to accept compliments, downplay our achievements and fear rejection - all of which can cause us to avoid new opportunities in an attempt to protect ourselves against disappointment. Over time, this critical mindset can lead to excessive worry about others' opinions of us, sparking a downward spiral of self-doubt, insecurity and negative self-image that traps us in an unhelpful cycle. By nurturing self-esteem, we create a balanced, positive self-view that supports our growth, self-acceptance and emotional stability.
Confidence: The Belief in Our Abilities
Confidence is the outward expression of self-worth and self-esteem combined. It’s the belief in our abilities, qualities and judgments - that we have what it takes to face challenges, make decisions, achieve goals and succeed. It’s having the courage to take action, even in the face of uncertainty. Having confidence also reflects our willingness to embrace vulnerability and step outside our comfort zone. While our brains are wired to avoid discomfort, building confidence means getting comfortable with that discomfort, taking risks and pushing past the fear of failure in order to grow and move forward.
When we have confidence we’re less affected by criticism or rejection because we are more likely to see them as opportunities for growth, rather than as attacks on our character. We trust our ability to handle challenges, make decisions and face the unknown. When confidence is high, a positive mindset takes over, encouraging us to take risks, embrace new opportunities and approach uncertainty with self-belief and willingness to try. Confidence not only propels us forward but also influences how others see us. When we express confidence, we inspire trust and respect in others because genuine confidence can be sensed.
When confidence is low, we tend to avoid challenges and stay in our comfort zones for fear of failure and a lack of self-belief in our abilities. This leads to missed opportunities, overthinking and a spiral of self-doubt. Fear of failure can make us overly cautious and limit our growth by keeping us stuck in unfulfilling situations. When confidence is low it’s typical to rely heavily on external validation, seeking approval from others in order for us to feel worthy. This undermines our ability to trust our instincts and make intentional choices aligned with our values and desires. Worrying about others’ opinions becomes a barrier to us moving forward, keeping us stuck in a cycle of external validation and limiting our growth.
Nurturing a Healthier Self-Worth
Practicing self-compassion, especially when it feels hardest, is a powerful way to strengthen self-worth. When we treat ourselves with the same kindness, patience and understanding we’d offer a friend, we signal to ourselves that we matter. This means letting go of perfectionism, embracing mistakes as part of learning and growth and replacing harsh self-criticism with a kind supportive inner voice.
Challenging limiting beliefs allows us to see that they often lack real foundation, weakening our inner critics power. Reframing these beliefs into positive affirmations, like "I am deserving of love and success" or "I trust myself", reminds us that our worth isn't tied to achievements or others' opinions. We are worthy simply because we exist. Reflecting on affirmations daily and placing them around the house can help reinforce our value. With consistent practice, these affirmations gradually feel more natural and automatic and encourages a more positive mindset moving forward.
Introducing healthy boundaries which prioritise and protect our own needs is a really helpful way of boosting our self-worth. Learning to say "no" when necessary and recognising when the outcome doesn’t serve us. The key to this is self-awareness, so it’s useful to spend some time reflecting on what matters to us, how we are feeling and what needs to happen for us to feel valued.
Prioritising uplifting activities and scheduling self-care supports our well-being and strengthens our relationship with ourselves. Spending just a few minutes each day with ourselves, treating ourselves with love and kindness, can help us feel valued and worthy. If we encourage our friends and loved ones to look after themselves, why don’t we do the same for ourselves? We are just a worthy of the same care.
Acknowledging our strengths, skills, and achievements builds self-appreciation, helping us to recognise our unique value without comparison. Celebrating every success, big or small, reinforces our awareness of our strengths and efforts, shows us that we can achieve and are often more capable than we think.
Recognising the positive impact we have on others is crucial for self-worth. We are each important to someone and our presence and actions can make a meaningful difference. What may seem like a small or insignificant gesture to us can have a profound effect on someone else. By recognising the value we bring in these moments, we reinforce the truth that we all have a unique place and purpose in this world.
A supportive social network greatly influences our self-perception. Surrounding ourselves with people who uplift, encourage and champion our efforts helps protect our sense of worth. Accepting compliments with gratitude, even when we may not fully believe them, over time reinforces the message that we are valued.
Remember, self-worth is the foundation on which self-esteem and confidence grow, making it well worth the time and care it takes to nurture.
Building a Strong Foundation for Self-Esteem
To improve our self-esteem, focusing on our strengths and celebrating our wins is key. Each step forward counts, yet it can be so easy to ignore the small things. Any success, big or small, matters and is worth celebrating. Recognising these positives helps us appreciate our strengths and acknowledge the credit we deserve.
Healthy self-esteem acknowledges that perfection isn't the goal, nor does it exist. Instead it's about embracing imperfections and practicing kindness, especially in times of failure or doubt. Being gentle with ourselves is essential to maintaining a positive and balanced self-view. Many of us set unrealistic expectations, which can lead to self-criticism and feelings of inadequacy. While aiming high can be important and does have its place, self-compassion is key when things don’t go as planned. We are all human and mistakes are an inevitable part of life.
For some, taking things slower and setting smaller, achievable goals can increase our chances of success and provides more opportunities for us to celebrate our wins. These moments reinforce our sense of value and remind us of the effort it took to get there.
Surrounding ourselves with uplifting people who recognise our strengths also protects our self-esteem is another key component. The people around us matter. Having healthy role models who encourage and support us on our journey can make a huge difference to how quickly we get there.
And finally, keeping our inner critic in check is key to a positive and balanced mindset. When thoughts like "I'm not good enough" arise, we can challenge them by asking: Are these thoughts based on facts or assumptions? Where's the evidence? What would a more helpful or truthful statement be?
Remember that setbacks don’t define our worth or capabilities. Mistakes are part of the human experience. If we view them as part of the journey to get there, we make room for growth and new learning, whilst building our resilience without being self-critical. This links back to what I said earlier about embracing our imperfections and viewing ourselves as a work in progress. Building healthy self-esteem is a gradual journey, it cannot be rushed, but each step forward brings us closer to realising our potential and being open to new opportunities.
Steps to Boost Confidence
Building confidence starts with something many of us find difficult; embracing vulnerability and stepping outside of our comfort zone. It can feel daunting, uncertain and scary, but when we can find the courage to go with it anyway, each step we take helps us to discover what’s possible, realise our capabilities and grow in confidence. I love Brené Brown’s work on vulnerability so I encourage you to check it out. Her work emphasises that by pushing through our discomfort, we unlock our potential and access new opportunities. We can start with small, achievable goals that stretch our boundaries just enough for it to feel a little uncomfortable, without becoming overwhelming. From here, we can take gradual steps forward, building confidence and momentum as we go. I like the statement “confidence is built through execution”.
Celebrate every win, no matter how small, and let each success become a stepping stone toward bigger challenges.
Some people find it helpful to visualise their success, imagining themselves achieving goals and navigating obstacles. This can reinforce a positive mindset and mentally prepare us for success.
Surrounding ourselves with a supportive network of confident, like-minded people, is in my opinion, one of the most powerful things we can do. Being around people who are self-assured models what real confidence looks like and encourages us to adopt similar qualities and tools. Observing confident language, behaviours and conversations can shape our own mindset, helping us feel more empowered. As we begin to take action, learn from our experiences and trust ourselves, we cultivate a “can-do” attitude that keeps us moving forward. Confidence isn’t about always being right - it’s about being comfortable with any outcome and viewing it as an opportunity for growth.
Seeking support from a trusted friend, mentor, therapist or life coach can be incredibly helpful on this journey.
Building self-worth, self-esteem and confidence is a continuous process, not a one-time achievement. It’s a lifelong journey of self-discovery, growth and self-love. It's okay to have challenging days, what matters is our commitment to progress and our willingness to keep moving forward. Every step we take towards embracing our true value brings us closer to a more fulfilled and empowered life. Believe in your ability to change and in your deservingness of a life that reflects your true worth.
We are enough, just as we are.
Click to explore my wellbeing coaching services for women & mothers…
If you're ready to explore your self-worth and strengthen your self-esteem and confidence, let's connect! Together, we’ll unlock your inherent value so you can live a life that’s true to who you are.
