The Fear of Missing Out: The Cost of Saying No
There’s a moment that many mothers know all too well. You’re offered a bit of time - an afternoon out, a few hours to yourself, maybe even a whole day to rest, recharge, and breathe.
At first, it sounds wonderful. You feel drawn to it and imagine what it'll feel like for everything to stop for an hour or two. That craving for calm, for peace, for quiet. The craving for space that isn’t filled with noise, demands, needs and doing.
But then, the thoughts creep in:
What if I miss something?
What if they have a funny moment and I’m not there to laugh with them?
What if they need me and I’m not around?
What if I just regret not being with them instead?
And so with a mixture of guilt and reluctant hesitation you say no. You let the opportunity pass and you stay with your family.
The fear of missing out isn’t always about social events or milestones. It can actually be about them.
Your family, your children, their stories, their routines, their experiences, their everything!
You want to be part of it all, every little bit. You want to be present for their whole lives. Because they're not small forever.
The trouble is when you keep putting yourself last, and when you don't honour what your mind and body are saying, the version of you that shows up for your family isn’t the version they need.
It’s the version that’s tired, maybe a little snappy, or even distant. The one that’s smiling on the outside but feeling drained inside. That quietly builds resentment. That runs on empty while pretending it’s all fine.
And that’s not a failure. It’s the cost of carrying everything without a break; without time to unwind and recharge, and taking into account your needs as a mother and as a person.
Taking time out for you doesn’t mean you love them any less. It doesn’t mean you’re selfish. It doesn’t mean you’re missing out.
Sometimes the real "loss" is what happens when you don’t go. When you stay, but you’re not really there. When your body is in the room, but your mind and spirit aren't present. Children pick up on this. They know when we're not fully present.
So next time you are offered the opportunity to take some time out, try saying yes! It’s okay to feel torn. But try choosing you. Not because you’re walking away, but because you’re walking towards a better version of you.
Resting is an act of love, for you and for them. Because a rested you is a warmer you, a more patient you, a more joyful you. And that’s the you your family cherishes most.
If this speaks to you, then let's start a conversation. Try saying "yes" and book a complimentary call with me. Take that first step towards a better version of you.
