Understanding Self-Worth, Self-Esteem, and Confidence: Your Path to Empowerment
Many of us have faced moments or even longer periods of low self-esteem, a lack of confidence, or feelings of low self-worth. These experiences can be overwhelming, disempowering and leave us stuck in self-doubt and uncertainty, often affecting our mood and overall well-being. But the good news is, we have the power to recognise these patterns and take action to transform them.
Self-worth, self-esteem, and confidence are deeply connected yet distinct concepts of our inner world. Together, they play vital roles in shaping how we perceive ourselves, relate to others, and navigate our lives. Understanding the differences and learning how to strengthen them can be transformative, leading to a more empowered, fulfilled, and resilient life. Let’s break them down in more detail to understand how they each contribute to a strong, empowered sense of self.
Self-Worth: Understanding of Our Inherent Value
Self-worth is the foundation. It is the unwavering belief that we are valuable, deserving, and worthy, simply because we exist. It recognises our intrinsic value regardless of our successes, achievements, possessions, appearance, or how others perceive us. It comes from within. Our self-worth doesn’t come from what we do or what we have; it lies at the core of who we are. High self worth means accepting ourselves as we are, flaws and all, without the need for external validation; meaning we are less dependant on approval from others to validate our worth. It leads to more authentic living, where your choices reflect who you truly are.
At its core, self-worth is rooted in love and self-compassion. The belief that we deserve kindness, patience, and respect like anyone else. When our self-worth is strong, we set healthy boundaries, protect our needs, and build balanced relationships. This mindset fosters confidence in our abilities, supports positive decision-making, and strengthens resilience, helping reduce anxiety and low mood.
Conversely, low self-worth often involves self-comparison, feelings of inadequacy, and dependence on external validation.
This can trigger anxiety, depression, and negative self-talk, while making it hard to set boundaries or accept compliments. It may lead to low motivation, fear of rejection, self-sabotage, and poor self-care, all of which strain relationships and decision-making. A strong sense of self-worth lays the foundation for self-esteem and confidence. It shapes how we show up in life and empowers us to thrive, not just survive.
Self-Esteem: The Attitude Toward Ourselves
Whist self-worth is rooted in the fundamental belief that we are inherently valuable just as we are, self-esteem is our personal evaluation of that value. It’s the opinion we hold of ourselves, and how much we respect, like, and approve of who we are. Self-esteem is our inner assessment of how we view ourselves, our abilities, appearance, and character, and it shifts with our experiences and self-perception. A healthy level of self-esteem acts as our internal cheerleader, helping counter the influence of the inner critic. When self-esteem is high, we’re more emotionally resilient, better able to bounce back from setbacks, and open to growth, because we trust our ability to handle challenges.
However, low self-esteem tends to amplify negative self talk, making it easy for our inner critic to drain our confidence and trigger feelings of inadequacy or failure. This can lead to struggles with accepting compliments, downplaying achievements, and fearing rejection - all of which can cause us to avoid new opportunities in an attempt to protect ourselves against disappointment.
Over time, this critical mindset can lead to excessive worry about others' opinions, sparking a downward spiral of self-doubt, insecurity, and negative self image that traps us in an unhelpful cycle. By nurturing self-esteem, we create a balanced, positive self-view that supports growth, self-acceptance, and emotional stability.
Confidence: The Belief in Our Abilities
Confidence is the outward expression of self-worth and self-esteem combined. It’s the belief in our abilities, qualities, and judgments - that we have what it takes to face challenges, make decisions, achieve goals, and succeed. It’s having the courage to take action, even in the face of uncertainty. Having confidence also reflects our willingness to embrace vulnerability and step outside our comfort zone. While our brains are wired to avoid discomfort, building confidence means getting comfortable with that discomfort, taking risks, and pushing past the fear of failure to grow and move forward.
When we have confidence, we’re less affected by criticism or rejection because we are more likely to see them as opportunities for growth, rather than as attacks on our character. We trust our ability to handle challenges, make decisions, and face the unknown. This inner trust fuels a positive mindset, encouraging us to take risks, embrace new opportunities, and grow. When confidence is high, we adopt a positive mindset, empowering us to step up, take risks, embrace new opportunities, and grow. Confidence not only propels us forward but also influences how others see us, inviting respect and inspiring trust.
When confidence is low, we tend to avoid challenges and stay in our comfort zones, leading to missed opportunities, overthinking, and self-doubt. Fear of failure can make us overly cautious, limiting our growth and keeping us stuck in unfulfilling situations. We may rely heavily on external validation, seeking approval to feel worthy, which undermines our ability to trust our instincts and make choices aligned with our true desires. Worrying about others’ opinions becomes a barrier to progress, often revealing deeper issues of low self-worth.
Nurturing a Healthier Self-Worth
Practicing self-compassion, especially when it feels hardest, is a powerful way to strengthen self-worth. When we treat ourselves with the same kindness, patience, and understanding we’d offer a friend, we signal to ourselves that we matter. This means letting go of perfectionism, embracing mistakes as part of growth, and replacing harsh self-criticism with gentle encouragement. Challenging self-doubt and limiting beliefs allows us to see that they often lack real foundation, weakening our inner critic. Reframing these beliefs into positive affirmations, like "I am deserving of love and success" or "I trust myself", reminds us that our worth isn't tied to achievements or others' opinions. Reflecting on these daily and placing them around the house can help reinforce our value. With consistent practice, these affirmations gradually become natural, shifting our mindset over time.
We can introduce healthy boundaries which prioritise and protect our own needs, learning to say "no" when necessary and when the outcome doesn’t serve us. The key to this is self awareness, so it’s useful to spend some time reflecting on what matters to us, how we are feeling and what needs to happen for us to feel valued.
Prioritising uplifting activities and scheduling self-care supports our well-being and strengthens our relationship with ourselves.
Acknowledging our strengths, skills, and achievements fosters self-appreciation, helping us embrace our uniqueness without comparison. Celebrating every achievement, big or small, reinforces our recognition of our strengths and efforts. Recognising the positive impact we have on others is crucial for self-worth. We are each important to someone, and our presence and actions can make a meaningful difference, even with small gestures. What may seem like a small or insignificant gesture to us can have a profound effect on someone else. By recognising the value we bring in these moments, we reinforce the truth that we all have a unique place and purpose in this world. A supportive social network greatly influences our self-perception. Surrounding ourselves with people who uplift, encourage, and champion our efforts helps protect our sense of worth. Accepting compliments with gratitude, even when we may not fully believe them, reinforces the message that we are valued. Remember - building self-worth is the foundation upon which self-esteem and confidence grow.
Building a Strong Foundation for Self-Esteem
To improve our self-esteem, focusing on our strengths and celebrating even small wins is key. Each step forward counts. Recognising our positives helps us appreciate our strengths and acknowledge the credit we deserve. Healthy self-esteem acknowledges that perfection isn't the goal, and doesn’t exist. Instead it's about embracing imperfections and practicing kindness, especially in times of failure or doubt. Being gentle with ourselves is essential to maintaining a positive and balanced self-view. Many of us set unrealistic expectations, which can lead to self-criticism and feelings of inadequacy. While aiming high is important, self-compassion is key when things don’t go as planned.
Taking things slower and setting smaller, achievable goals increases our chances of success and provides more opportunities to celebrate our wins. These moments reinforce our sense of value and remind us of the effort it took to get there. Surrounding ourselves with uplifting people who recognise our strengths also protects our self-esteem. When thoughts like "I'm not good enough" arise, we can challenge them by asking: Are these thoughts based on facts or assumptions? Where's the evidence? What would a more helpful or truthful statement be?
Remember that setbacks don’t define our worth or capabilities. If we view them as part of the journey to get there, we make room for growth and new learning, whilst building our resilience without being self critical. This links back to what I said earlier about embracing our imperfections and viewing ourselves as a work in progress. Building healthy self-esteem is a gradual journey, it cannot be rushed, but each step forward brings us closer to realising our potential and being open to new opportunities.
Steps to Boost Confidence
Building confidence starts with embracing vulnerability and stepping outside our comfort zone. It can be daunting, but each small step helps us gain confidence and discover what’s possible. Brené Brown’s work on vulnerability emphasises that by pushing through discomfort, we unlock our potential and access new opportunities. To create the life we want, we must be willing to “step into the arena” and take action. Start with small, achievable goals that stretch our boundaries just enough to encourage growth, without feeling overwhelming. Celebrate every win, no matter how small, and let each success become a stepping stone toward bigger challenges. We can even visualise success by picturing ourselves achieving our goals and navigating obstacles. Visualisation can be a really useful tool for some people, helping to reinforce a positive mindset, preparing us mentally for success.
Surrounding ourselves with a supportive network of confident, like-minded individuals can be incredibly powerful. Being in environments that foster confidence helps shift our mindset and builds momentum. As we take action, learn from our experiences, and trust ourselves, we develop a "can-do" attitude that keeps us moving forward. Confidence isn't about always being right, but being comfortable with any outcome and using it as an opportunity for growth.
Seeking support from a trusted friend, mentor, therapist, or life coach can be incredibly helpful on this journey. Building self-worth, self-esteem, and confidence is a continuous process, not a one-time achievement. It’s a lifelong journey of self-discovery, growth, and self-love. It's okay to have challenging days, what matters is our commitment to progress and our willingness to keep moving forward. Every step we take towards embracing our true value brings us closer to a more fulfilled and empowered life. Believe in your ability to change and in your deservingness of a life that reflects your true worth.
We are enough, just as we are.
If you're ready to explore your self-worth and strengthen your self-esteem and confidence, let's connect! Together, we’ll unlock your inherent value so you can live a life that’s true to who you are.
