The Power of Courage and Vulnerability
Courage begins where certainty ends
Courage is often misunderstood. Most of us associate it with confidence or being fearless, assuming that courageous people don’t feel fear or doubt. Yet the reality is quite the opposite. Courage almost always walks hand in hand with vulnerability. It shows up at exactly the moment when we feel uncertain, exposed or unsure of the outcome. Our brains are wired to seek certainty. We like predictability because it helps us anticipate what’s coming and keeps us feeling safe. When we can’t see what lies ahead, our nervous system often responds with fear, doubt or a sense of freezing. The unknown can feel deeply unsettling and so staying on the sidelines can feel safer. This is where courage becomes our ally.
Courage allows us to step into uncertainty even when it feels uncomfortable, when fear is present and when we can’t predict the outcome. It doesn’t remove the fear, but it helps us to do it anyway, choosing learning and growth over protection and staying stuck. In moments of uncertainty, courage reminds us that safety doesn’t always come from knowing the outcome. Sometimes it comes from trusting ourselves to handle whatever challenges are thrown our way and having belief in our ability to persevere.
The cost of avoiding vulnerability
Vulnerability has long been seen as something to avoid at all costs. From an early age, many of us are taught to stay composed, not to cry, to be capable and to remain in control. Yet research and lived experience tell a very different story! Contrary to what society has conditioned us to believe, especially men…
vulnerability is not weakness.
Vulnerability is the willingness to be seen as we truly are, rather than as we think we should be. It’s allowing ourselves to acknowledge our fears, uncertainty or discomfort without turning away from them. It’s the honesty we show others when we reveal our most fragile parts and it’s the honesty we show ourselves when we choose to show up anyway, despite it all.
Vulnerability has been conditioned out of us over time and this is particularly true for men. Messages are reinforced from such a young age that strength means stoicism, emotions should be hidden or controlled and that asking for help is a failure rather than a human need. Phrases like “man up” or “be strong” teaches us emotional suppression, not the resilience we need to thrive in life. This conditioning creates distance between us and our inner world, making it harder for us to recognise, express, or even allow vulnerability in at all. The cost of this avoidance is huge; disconnection, emotional isolation and a reality of unspoken struggle. Vulnerability will always be there, because uncertainty will always exist. When we resist vulnerability, we stay stuck, afraid and carry a facade that hides how we really feel. But when we invite it in, we open the door to opportunities, connection and real personal growth.
Vulnerability is our superpower
When I was first introduced to Brené Brown’s work, it was a real light-bulb moment for me. Like many of us, I had spent years trying to avoid showing vulnerability, worrying about how I would be judged if I did. I questioned what it might mean for my confidence, my opportunities and my sense of success in life. Who wants to work with, be friends with or associate with someone who openly admits they feel fear, anxiety or trepidation about something they’re about to do, or a part of themselves they struggle with? Then I discovered the research into vulnerability and courage and this turned everything I thought to be true on its head. I began to understand the true power of vulnerability and the growth and opportunities that can come from it. I realised the opposite of what I’d believed was true. Sharing our most vulnerable moments doesn’t close doors; it opens them. It creates new opportunities that might not otherwise have been, paves the way for success and leads to deeper, far more meaningful connections with those around us.
Perhaps most surprisingly, I realised that vulnerability gradually builds confidence. Eevery time we show up despite fear and uncertainty, we prove to ourselves that we are capable, and even when things don’t work out as intended, growth still happens. We learn. We adapt. We move forward. When we choose to do it anyway, we don’t just show ourselves that we can tolerate discomfort, we show ourselves that we can handle whatever comes next. Whether we succeed or not, we’ve taken a step forward, gathered insight and strengthened our ability to repeat the cycle with greater resilience next time. Over time, expressing vulnerability becomes easier, not because fear disappears, but because we begin to recognise the quiet superpower it holds. Through my own experiences I can vouch for that!
The process of courage in action
Courage isn’t a single action; it unfolds in stages, and at each stage, vulnerability is present.
Commitment
Courage begins with a choice; the decision to step outside of your comfort zone and say: “I’m willing to show up and try”, even when the outcome is unclear. The moment we commit, we are already vulnerable, because we’re acknowledging that the outcome may be uncertain and uncomfortable. Saying “I’m willing to show up and try” requires honesty with ourselves about what we are feeling and having the courage to face it anyway.
Action
Then comes the step forward, with vulnerability very much present. This is when we stop letting fear or doubt take control and instead reclaim our power, choosing to move forward despite the discomfort. This is the stage where vulnerability is most visible because fear, doubt and discomfort are often strong. Courage doesn’t remove these feelings, it requires us to feel them fully while still choosing to act. In this step, vulnerability and courage are deeply connected because courage is the decision to act despite the fear, and vulnerability is the willingness to experience what comes as a result, without shielding ourselves from uncertainty or potential failure. By stepping into the discomfort, we reclaim our power and deepen our trust in ourselves.
Reflection
After action comes reflection, the stage where the lessons of courage and vulnerability are processed. Looking back honestly at what happened, how it felt and what was the outcome. What did we learn? How did it feel? What changed as a result? Even when the outcome isn’t what we hoped for, reflection turns our experience into growth and learning moving forward. Vulnerability remains present because it asks us to face the truth of our experience, whether the outcome was in our favour or not. Reflection strengthens courage because each time we sit with what we felt and what we learned, we build the resilience required to face the next challenge.
Through these stages, we see that courage and vulnerability are deeply connected. Vulnerability opens the door to courage, and courage gives us the space to experience vulnerability fully. Together, they create a cycle of growth, self-trust and meaningful transformation.
Why vulnerability strengthens us
Expressing vulnerability is one of the most powerful ways we strengthen ourselves. In my work with clients, I see this every day. The moment they step into the coaching space, they begin a journey that asks them to look inward, to reflect honestly on their lives and at times to face difficult truths. It requires courage. The courage to sit with discomfort, to lean into uncertainty and to allow themselves to be seen exactly as they are. At first, this can feel uncomfortable, but as they practise letting vulnerability in, that discomfort eases. They begin to see that from our most vulnerable moments, real growth and meaningful change can flourish. Courage and vulnerability are inseparable. It all starts with having the bravery to show up and be honest with how we feel, knowing that each step forward brings transformation.
My invitation to you
I invite you to reflect on the role courage and vulnerability play in your life.
Where do you notice it shows up, if at all?
How comfortable do you feel allowing yourself to be vulnerable?
When do you notice your own courage?
When have you been asked to show up in a way that required bravery, even when the outcome was uncertain?
How did it feel, and what changed as a result?
Each time we step into vulnerability and courage, no matter how small the action, we give ourselves permission to grow, learn and connect more deeply with ourselves and others. It’s in the willingness to show up, feel everything and move forward anyway, that transformation is possible. Sometimes, the bravest thing we can do is simply begin.
Click here to learn more about coaching with me
Approaching vulnerability and embracing courage can feel challenging, but you don’t have to do it alone. If you, or someone you know, would like to explore this with support, you can book a FREE discovery call below, where we’ll discuss what coaching could look like for you and how we can work together to help you step into your own arena.
