Why Values Are Key to Authentic Living
Values … a word which differentiates us as individuals and which lies at the foundation of our behaviour and how we show up. Though fundamental to who we are, often they can lie beneath the surface, undetected. When we're not fully aware of our values or when they are not actively guiding our decisions, it’s easy to behave in ways that conflict with them. This misalignment can cause us to experience negative emotions like resentment, discomfort, or insecurity, often without knowing the root cause.
What are Values?
Values are deeply personal principles that guide our decisions, actions, and interactions. They shape how we navigate the world, influencing the way we respond to challenges, treat others, and pursue our goals. Our values act as an internal compass, providing clarity in moments of uncertainty and helping us make choices that feel aligned with our true selves. Each of us has a unique set of core values, with the top five being the most important - those we hold most dearly and refuse to compromise on. These core values influence our decisions and behaviour, helping us navigate everyday life. The most powerful values are intrinsic, meaning they come from within, reflecting who we truly are. When we act in alignment with these values, we feel authentic and driven. In times of challenge or uncertainty, pausing to reflect on your core values can help you move forward with clarity and intention. Values can evolve over time. There’s no right or wrong, only what feels true to you.
How do we find our core values?
Understanding our core values can be challenging, even if we have a general sense of what matters to us. In today’s busy world, we often neglect the time needed for true self-reflection. This isn’t about zoning out in front of a screen, but intentionally setting aside moments to check in with our thoughts, emotions, and bodily sensations. Without this conscious pause, it’s difficult to connect with the values that truly ground us. The first and arguably most important step in exploring our core values is to carve out uninterrupted time to connect with our mind and body.
In this quiet space, we can reflect deeply on what truly matters; what supports our wellbeing, the kind of person we want to be, how we wish to show up for others, and what we won’t compromise on. Our values may evolve as life changes, so regular check-ins help ensure our actions stay aligned. If you’d like support in discovering your core values and exploring how they align with your current life and behaviour, get in touch today. Together, we’ll work through my 7-step values discovery exercise to help you gain clarity and direction.
The impact of living out of alignment with your values
When our behaviour is out of sync with our values, it often creates inner conflict. We may not be fully aware of it, but it can manifest as emotional discomfort, feeling unsettled, agitated, or off-balance without knowing why. These moments are valuable signals, inviting us to pause and reflect.
Ask yourself:
Where might these feelings be coming from?
What’s triggering these emotions?
What am I thinking right now?
How might my behaviour be contributing?
How would I prefer to respond?
What needs to shift for this feeling to ease?
By creating space for this reflection, we can uncover the root causes of our discomfort, identify what truly matters to us, and begin aligning our behaviour with our core values, reducing conflict and restoring balance.
Why knowing your core values matters
Once you understand your core values, you can start to reflect on your current behaviour and identify changes needed to align more closely with those values. This alignment allows you to show up authentically, with greater inner peace and confidence.
Consider a time you were asked to tell a white lie or felt you couldn’t be fully honest. Did you feel uncomfortable, guilty, embarrassed, or inauthentic? If so, honesty is likely a core value of yours.
When we act against our values, we experience emotional and physical discomfort. Recognising this helps us evaluate how we behave in different environments and relationships. Are our actions authentic, or are they driven by people-pleasing or fear? What needs to change for us to behave in a way that truly reflects who we are? By identifying our core values, we can spot patterns of behaviour that feel misaligned and make conscious changes. This helps us live more authentically, build confidence, and experience greater emotional wellbeing. Values are the foundation of who we are. Taking time to reflect on them is a powerful step towards living a more intentional, grounded life. Give yourself that space and see what you discover.
If you'd like support in exploring your core values and how they align with your current behaviours, I invite you to book your Complimentary Call.
